Something That Will Never Happen But Should
by Blimey The Toad
Summary: A failed attempt at serious Rogue/Gambit romance fiction... read... review... help me!
1. They Finally Hook Up

Here's da deal... I have written going on 14 humor fics, but none other genre's EVER, so I thought, what da heck, why not try one of each? That's what I'm doing now... I WILL wrap up part 1 of the Babysitting Adventure (which wasn't even s'posed ta be a dang series in da first place) after this one, then I'll finish with my at least one of each theme. Cool? Better be. My first'll be romance (*sigh* flutters lashes)... between (who else but) Gambit and Rogue. Of course.  
  
Title: Something That'll Never Happen But Should Part I  
Author: Uh... me? Duh... Blimey The Toad.  
Disclaimer: I own my story, but Marvel owns the charectors, but the government owns Marvel, but Bill Gates (probably) owns the government. So I guess this is really a Bill Gates fic... wait! *Microsoft* owns Bill Gates (Yeah, he owned it, but sold it to the devil, so now the devil owns it *and* him and... it's a long story). I guess it's all written by the devil. Enjoy.  
  
Notes: This takes place sometime when Rogue and Gambit can touch, before Antarctica... between missions. Yeah.  
  
  
Rogue and Gambit sat next to one another, both staring out at the beautiful moon which lit up the entire sky. Neither had said much; they enjoyed these night's they spent together, staring up at the night sky, not ever saying much, yet knowing exactly what the other was thinking. Words were not neccessary.  
They both came here often, usually hoping to find the other one here, as well, yet never admitting it to each other. They both claimed they came to the roof for peaceful solitude, when what they both truly wanted was to find the other, and some day be able to hold each other tightly, stare deep into each other's eyes, and...  
"Rogue?" Gambit broke the silence. He turned his head towards her, awestruck by her beauty as the moonlight made her skunk-stripe appear to glow. He features, delicate, yet strong. Her emerald-green eyes shining like a racoon's eyes when caught in a flashlight beam. Hot damn, he thought (a phrase he'd never use out loud, but hey, he's southern... ya know he thinks it), she be so beautiful. He gulped.  
"Yeah, Remy?" She never broke her gaze at the moon. She knew if she did she'd melt into his arms, unable to keep herself from it after all this time, all these games they'd played with each other... she wanted, needed to give in. She needed him.  
"I was t'inkin'... dat maybe you like t'be goin' out tomarrow. On a date. Wit' me." Crap, he thought. It coulda gone better. But, he reminded himself, it could also have gone worse. He held his breath awaiting her response.  
Her eyes grew wide. Had he read her mind? Did he feel the same way? She sure as hell hoped so. She was unsure as how to respond.   
"Duh... yeah. That sounds... uh... really nice." D'oh! She made a complete dumbass of herself. Oh, gad, she thought. Ah can't believe that that actually just happened. To me. With him. She felt like she could cry at any time. She hoped he hadn't noticed her idiotic lack of any real coherent sentence.  
"Did you jus' say...  
? Uh... huh-huh... really? Hee-hee... are you... sure? I mean, you ain' kiddin' or nothin', right?"  
"A course Ah am!" How could he think such a thing!  
"I pick you up at 6:00, den, non?"  
"That would be great." She answered. Hot damn! She thought. Hey, she's southern too, ya know.  
And he left the roof, trembling.  
**********  
Gambit made his way to his room. On the way, he passed by Wolverine.  
"Uh, hi Wolvy."  
Wolverine eyed him suspiciously. "You smell like something. Anxiety? Anticipation? Er... joy??"  
"All t'ree, Wolvy. All t'ree."  
"Ya finally did it, didn't ya?"  
"What?"  
"Ya asked her out, didn't ya? Rogue. Finally. I thought it would never end."  
"What would never end? What you talkin' about?"  
"You know. The flirtacious glances, the lovey chit-chat. It was gettin' ta be unbearably sappy."  
"I ain' sappy! Not Remy! Never!"  
"Sorry, bub. Looks like you are." Evil Logan chuckled to himself, and went off to tell the others it finally happened.   
**********  
"Hey, Hank."  
"Hey, Logan." Wolverine threw a $100 bill on Hank's desk. Hank looked up at confusedly, then he understood.  
"Oh, my stars and garters, man! They are finally dating now. I win! It's been less than 5 years, my guess was acurate! About time. All that damn, 'Hey, let's flirt-but-never-go-anywhere-with-it is finally over! Yes!"  
"Let's hope."  
"I must go collect from Xavier and Scott! Hah! What'm I going to do with $300 extra dollars? I know! I'll buy a Playstation 2! This damn Shi'ar equiptment doesn't hold a candle to the beautiful graphics presented by our friends at Sony."  
"Sounds good. You *are* going to let me play, right?"  
"Of course, my testosterone-pumped friend."  
"Then let's go collect on the debts!" And they went to tell the others.  
**********  
The next morning...  
Gambit stepped into the shower, butt-naked, thinking of his ever-approaching date with Rogue.   
"Remy, it look like your wish come true. I hope I don' wreck it. That'd suck big time. Oh, my god, I been around Jubilee too much. Oh, well. Where will we go? And then it came to him. He lathered, rinsed, repeated, dried off and went off to prepare for the big night tonight.  
**********  
Same morning, different bathroom...  
Rogue stepped into the shower, butt-naked, thinking of her ever-approaching date with Gambit.  
"Rogue... whoa. Gambit. He's hot, sensitive, smart, hot, agile, talented, hot, great at gymnastics... damn, girl, you just described a gay guy! Oh, no! Is Remy gay? Than why did he ask me out? As a friend? As a joke? I should ask the professor! He'd know! And she went off in search of the professor.  
**********  
Alright... that was a failed attempt at serious romantic fiction. Should I finish this? Is it pathetic? Does it even have a chance of being a serious romance, ever? Ah, well... review. Tell me what I did well, what I did right, and why I failed miserably at a serious fic. *Sigh* 


	2. Hey, Guess What? He's Not Gay! Wow, hu...

Dang! I didn't know you peeps'd enjoy this thing. I thought it was a failed attempt at a romance fic, not an accidentally humorous fic... dang. Ah, well... if humor is my thing, why the hell not stick to it, neh? BTW, apparently you guys didn't pick up on the sarcasm that was dripping from Rogue thinking Gambit was gay. So I fixed that for all of you losers who can't give in to a little sarcasm! I mean, seriously, though... if you walked past Gambit on the street, wouldn't you think *GAY GAY GAY*... I would! Aw, well... if'n this sucks (I mean, it's been quite a while since I last posted this fic, and even longer since I wrote it), tell me and I'll write something else that'll hopefully be better as a part II... here ya'll go: the long awaited sequel,  
  
SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN BUT SHOULD, PART II  
  
*knock knock*   
"Come in," called the professor, leafing through the new Men's Fitness mag. When Rogue opened the door, Xavier was a bit worried. Rogue was never one for chatting with him-she hardly ever paid him a visit, and when she did it was normally bad. He wrinkled his brow and motioned for the chair opposite him. "Sit, Rogue." he directed. She did as was told. "And to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"  
Rogue tried to think of a way to phrase her question so that she wouldn't appear suspicious or homophobic, but there was really only one way of asking. She cleared her throat and began, "Is Gambit gay?"  
Xavier choked a little on the question. He'd never really thought about it before. Perhaps he'd said something to Rogue. "What makes you suspect this, Rogue?"  
She went on to tell him the reasons it seemed that way, and Xavier actually saw her reasoning. Gambit was very well-dressed, he loved the finer things in life, he was a great cook, and he was Cajun-a mixture of the two gayest people on the earth, the French and the Canadians. Rogue seemed to have a point. There was only one way to find out for sure, but it was unethical!   
"Do you know?" cried Rogue. "Can ya somehow find out?" Xavier nodded.  
"Yes, Rogue, I can do a scan of the pleasure portion of his brain-his fantasies and the such. But it's unethical..." he trailed off.  
"Pleeeease?" begged Rogue.  
"Well, fine. But, uh, I never did this, right?" He poked her in the arm. "Right, right? Scott'd kill me!"  
"A course not! Ah wouldn't tell a soul."  
"Alright, hold on just a sec..." he eyes closed and he looked asleep, then his lids suddenly fluttered open.  
"Ew! Oh, my god! Uh... I think I have your answer, Rogue." He gave her a sidelong glance, then continued. "Gambit is very, VERY straight, it appears. Unless you are a man. Which I doubt you are. Anyways, his fantasies focus around you, it appears. And, uh... they don't leave much room for doubt of his sexuality. I... uh... feel awkward now. Um, let's pretend this never happened. Argh!" The professor banged his head on the table trying to free his mind of all the fantasies he saw from Gambit. "Go. Now. Please." Rogue jumped from her spot and ran from the office, smiling to herself because now she knew for sure that he felt the same way she did.   
  
**********  
  
Gambit was listening to "Fade To Black" by the Rolling Stones on his stereo, and then chose a line-up of things to do for his and Rogue's first date: first, a romantic dinner at Rolando's, a nice Italian place; after dinner, a stroll through the park, on a little known trail that passed near the lake; then, a kick-ass concert at Clunk Music Hall. They always had some decent music there. He hoped it would go off as planned, then grinned in anticipation.   
  
**********  
  
That's all for now. But, I will post more soon. Like, within a week soon. Sorry I took so long last time. I truly did not think ya'll would like it. I hope ya'll enjoyed this, and have a great night! BTW, if I don't get at least one review, no more story! It'll end there, aw-right? GOOD!  
  
Also, let me plug a kick-ass story- Stormkpr's story X-Men: Friends Of Humanity. This story rocks. I am so dang serious. Anyhoo, read it and review, but review mine more, cause I'm more important! Leave me alone! *sob*  



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